Mathur - It was a dream come true, a dream nurtured and cherished through the years, a dream to live the dreams our loved ones inspired in us, a dream to be a part of the prestigious school of learning we so fondly remember as Birla Institute of Technology. Never before had a piece of paper meant more than the one that
said You have been selected. That was the beginning of our dream, a culmination of our all our efforts to take a step forward into the future of our professional life.The date was (insert date here). It appeared to be a point in time at which a number of individuals came together bound by a common hope to fulfill a similar ambition. As the years ahead lay, the train journey to Ranchi bore an uncanny resemblance in many ways to what one could, and also what one could not expect. The continuation of this would then be what went through the mind of the first one of us who got to BIT. You know, things like what were going through your mind as you sat on the train going to Ranchi, or what your first impressions were of the city, or of BIT as you got on what we called The Approach. Then we could possibly go from there. By the way, remember how we almost took that dog Shera and the bitch (whatever her name was) to be our pet. I think Darren took a special interest in them and we would literally track her pups from one generation to the next. I think this would be a good example to throw in some senti stuff about how much we missed home and how we tried to recreate our home in this place so far away from home.
Arvind - Its more a collective biography - of the lives of unsuspecting individuals who ventured (some forcibly) into this mostly undiscovered territory and whose lives tooks dramatic twists for the next 4 yrs (or in the case of some, more than 4 - read Joshy). And its also more than the story of just the individuals - its also a story of the place itself - a place like no other - where more cows lived than girls, where electricity was still a luxury, where BATA was not a shoe, where in spite of the kelas and the fucked-up lifestyles, the junta knew how to have a kick-ass FUNKY time.
Liji - The first big booze party at IH - on Easter, after 12 till 3AM, Deepak, Sam, Darren had to go to the mass in Ranchi, Noor doing pushups on the road, falling into the gutter, Bijesh humping the tree, Drunk Darren reading the Bible. If photographs are available, we could include cartoon versions in the book.
- The Ghost incident.
- The story of Agent.
- The festival celebrations
- Chaman - Ayeeeesh yar, what is the fun!!
- The L-Lobby.
- The Kela King.
- The Mallu King and the emperor.
- Adi’s room - YMCA
Joseph the whacko!! - How come you guys forgot the whacko who fell of the bike and had a brain surgery…we all had pooled in resources by being at the hospital in Ranchi. After that his brain was warped as Joshy is now. Also if I am not mistaken he was staying in the next room with Mathur in H4 and one day he smashed his skull with a bat and was bleeding in his room. This was quite some time after the accident in IH. He even had some girls name Kiran or something like that carved on his finger and arm. Fuck that must have been painful. The name of the girl may not be Kiran but something like that. Joseph was the whackos name I guess…he went to Manipal then.

Failed attempts at unlocking the chastity belts of BIT - Wonder if Darren remembers his rain check incident with I presume the girls name was Ritika and I wonder how many people has Darren told about that. Arvind and Archana Singh, I forgot the MBA girls name…. I dont remember the rest, so fill in the gaps, There is Wadhwas affair, Mathur had some sort of failed attempt. Sams made up affairs, Reggie…., Agents infatuation with someone, I don’t remember the name.
The birthday bumps, the naked spanks and the group molestation.
Pets - I think the dogs name in IH was Shera. I dont remember the other dogs name. Hammer was one of the puppies who migrated with us to H4. Mukhri used to give Hammers mom a bath and feed her and stuff, if I remember right. Then there was Darren’s hamster or whatever it was, I forgot the name. I know we had a funeral when it passed away. The only thing we ever taught it was probably to stand on two legs. Darren-I forgot the name of my guinea-pig that died of shock when Shera picked him up in his mouth. WE buried him and all that. Shubranshu was there as well.(ADI - His name was SNOOP!! ).
Darren - The night that led to the fight with Sanju (I think ADI pushed him off his bike or something). We had been drinking heavily that night. The warden came to knock on my door after they woke up ADI and I wouldn’t open my door because I was hammered and scared shitless. Then I stuck toothpaste in my mouth and opened the door to more explanations and all that shit. We didn’t sleep till 5am that night and I remember playing guitar with Noor (another colorful character) and shooting the shit about the whole issue with him in the morning. I think ADI was there in the morning too.
Darren - Volleyball, cricket (that I tried to play) - all the inter batch matches that we all won (hahahahahha). Bijeshs jumping slap at Jupy when he got mad after a game of volleyball.
Darren - The never ending tail(people having followers) thing about wadhwa-mathur, then Rajesh-Me(darren) ( Master - Slave flip flop, the Liji - Darren showdown!! ) and then wadhwa-me(darren). Wadhwa - Mathur - Chaman - Darren, The long tail. (Liji - people did everything the head did, like when they ate, studied, and even showered!)
Darren - Raina-cerous [enuf said]
Darren - Arvinds super brain who played tennis while the rest of us crammed a day before. The super nerds (Wadhwa, Const), wannabe nerds (Darren), secret nerd (Liji) and the scavenger (Bijesh) who just visited rooms and extracted knowledge as he went along.
Liji - nightouts, when most people studied all night long, with coffee & tea made available from the mess to keep people up.
Darren - Bijesh traumatizing chaman by putting his dick on display. Liji, Bijesh, Me(Darren) and Adi annoying Agent to show his ass. Ego trips - we can all go on forever with those. you guys are all losers and that subsequently causing you guys to dub me winner to spite me.
Darren - Rajesh always thinking he was so ripped (probably still does…hee hee) and actually joining the bodybuilding contest. I was in it too and I thought I was big…..hahahahah - what a farce that was.
Adi - ( Look up Darren ) I remember that night too, bastards searched my room for alcohol, could only smell it coz we drank every fucking drop another thing i remember is chandi opening his shorts in the lobby when he was upset or when someone said something ridiculous then there was the time we rearranged agents furniture in the lawn,what assoles we were. agent bringing back his answer sheet and getting an F and remember that toll thing we used to do for chaman agent and I think const outside my room b4 dinner now Im flowing but got to go.
Mathur - Do you guys (92 batch) remember the time we all had music systems and we would blast them to see which one of ours was the loudest(I think it was mine…hehe). The interesting thing though, was that we would come up with this weird competition idea after dinner when all was quiet, when all the nerds were just beginning to sink into their books. ( Liji - There was also the time when got and set up those tube lights that was like the in thing then. )
Mathur - Then of course, there was our lobby cricket and tennis sessions. What a pain it was to have to go get the ball each time it overshot the lobby confines and fell on the lawn which we regularly watered with our holy water. The grass was literally turning yellow. Besides our lobby was at a higher elevation than ground level so the spread was better. Did anyone ever bless the upper lawns???
Wadhwa - FIRE in Darrens room in the IH. We were all in the common room and watching TV or doing something and there was this huge smoke in Darrens room. We told Darren about it and he wouldnt really believe us esp after the ghost incident. End of it, his mattress was half burnt. (Liji - First year my room caught on fire too. I left one of those heating rods in a plastic cub and dozed off. The cup melted and the table it was on caught on fire. I woke up to a room full of thick black smoke, used water to put out an electric fire! Everyone else was in the common room during that fire too)
Wadhwa - Train travel in October back home and all the ragging incidents. One incident of note when Chaman got robbed while travelling once and the bandits took all his money, watch etc… I think he may be able to give us more insight into that. (Liji - the scary train to Delhi during the 1994 Surat plague scare)
Mathur - Speaking of birthday bumps, we (the 92 batch) had our own way of showing how much we loved each other. Guys, remember the NAKED SPANKS??!!! For those of you who dont know what that was, well, it was a 92 batch ritual birthday more than regular bumps. Traditionally, Sharma would sit himself on a chair and the birthday boy would have to lay (facing the floor, butt open) across Sharmas thunder thighs. This position gave us (the bday boys buddies) a super nice butt to roast. At a call, we would all start spanking the lucky one something like a hundred slaps a minute and watch as his butt changed color from red to white to blue. Of course, depending on the butt, you saw different colors. For those of you wondering if Sharma got spanked, the answer is YES. That is a whole different story. Guys who have not gone through this royal treatment can imagine trying to sit or even lie down with a butt so warm, you could toast a slice of bread on it.
Liji - Agents was the most popular butt!!.
Mathur - What about the movie shows we had out there Saturday nights. Remember that??Mostly the movies were more like going through the historic archives of Bollywood. Never-the-less, I recall most of the guys (turning up for the afternoon shows cos all the girls would come for that one.
Mathur - And at one point, there was this dhaba that opened down the dirt path from hostel 4. Those guys did not have any electricity or running water but they did put together some mean meals. Those guys were always a welcome alternative to our mess meals. And speaking of mess meals, does anyone remember all the different kinds of egg and potato preparations those guys made. I dont think the civilized world has heard of Hausa. How about the reservations for all the good chicken pieces. The Sunday DosaThe sweets!!
Liji - Vacation trips to the middle east. The turmoil of booking tickets, the experiences on Indian Airlines. Like the time when they had to turn the plane around on the runway because Darren dozed off and did not wake up when the people were getting out in Ranchi. The pilot who tried to land in Jamshedpur, where there was no airport to land!! The pilot who slammed the aircraft while landing. The air hostess infatuations. Experiences in Bombay, Delhi… The long list of stories everyone had to brag about, when they got back to BIT, before reality finally hit us. The Ranchi airport, where arrival and departure terminal were just a few feet apart. The little smoke room in the airport, the short walk to the flight being witnessed by a crowd smashed againt the window in the viewers gallery. The bargaining episodes with the cab drivers.
Liji - How can we forgot the great countdown!!. We could probably end the book with this story. All the stories before it culminating into the big bang, like the rockets on those strings, that blew to bits, the most spectacular countdown of its time, bringing our days in BIT to an end, the end that we dreamt about every day of our seven years in BIT. How as a team we designed, built and demolished it, as those four years flashed by in an instant, never foreseeing this day, when we would do something again as a team.
The 93 murgas and their ragging.
92 vs 93 cricket matches.
The fights - like the much anticipated Darren vs Joshy fight.The fight that never happened, The one where Sanju got all the 93 guys, when Arvind pushed him off the bike. Adis great quote - Touch me and I will kill you!! (Liji - Joshy even had rigged a punching bag in his room to train for the fight!)
Vinu - you forgot Jhat getting bumps for any Srilankan win/loss. I remember an incident where all of us gave him bumps bcos some minister got assassinated. Remember those India-Srilanka matches…Jhat used to be shit scared as whoever wins, he used to get bumps.. we can add Jupi on a cycle going to the L lobby and getting beaten up by somebody and then the great 92 vs 93 fight.. or darren running to Hostel 5 on his bday to escape getting bumps from me (Liji - Bangladeshis siding with Pakistan during India-Pak cricket matches).
Alok - Some more inputs and this is about the diwali fights we had. in the dead of the night the 93 batch went and put 2 or 3 bombs on all the doors or the 92 batch guys and I think nev, bhargav, lal, and I were involved and there was one more person I cant recall. The synchronization was perfect and blast had a deadly effect (thou ofcourse the 92 batch never admitted it).
Then whenever anybody used to go to have a bath the would always be boomed there and the sound was deadly in the enclosed room. We didnt even spare the poor bastards when then would shit. Imagine shitting and thru the gap of the door you can see smoke. And then there was that year when we booming you guys and pablo and I were almost fighting one to one and pablo covered his ears as he thought that I had thrown a boom at him, and at that time by mistake he had lit the boom in his hand and all of us were screaming at him that the boom in his hand was lit but he couldn’t hear us, and then from somewhere god saved his ass, as he realized and thru the boom with about 3-4 secs to spare.
Then we had boomed jupi. This has got to take some space, we locked jupi in his room and I went behind his room and thru in a ladi in his room from his window, and we continuously boomed his door. Then there was this time when be boomed both sam and jupi together, and after the boom on top of sams door exploded jupi came out and abusing everybody and then sam too came out and just then they noticed (a bit late thou) that there was a boom on jupis door too, (dramatic affect) they sam shout a warning at jupi who looks up and booooooom.
And this is definitely the most ultimate one, the hostel warden(some pharma prof) comes to the hostel, I forgot the chutes name, this was in the year 93 (I remember as it was our first diwali) and everybody was bursting bombs of all sorts in the lobby, which had pissed this guys so he had come to make inspection. Everybody saw him and had stopped bursting and were lining up to talk to him but poor old me, was too busy lighting a chakri with a phuljhadi. Naturally I didnt see him and as everybody was standing around me I thought that they wanted to see the chakri lit and so I carried on doing what I was doing in the supervision of our warden. Needless to say the great speech of the warden followed.
Then this happened when we were in the second/third year, I think it was 96. The same guy (pharma prof) came again in diwali, and this time we didn’t spare him. When he was standing in the middle of the hostel (in front of the mess) somebody burst a boom in the 92 batch L-lobby, so he ran that side. Then I put one in the bathroom in between sanju and vinus room, so he came running back and asked one of his pharma students to go and check the bathroom. Then as he was standing in the middle I think it was anuj sahoo who threw a boom from the terrace on top just behind the warden. He was so frustrated that he ran away abusing us.
Then there was that slight tussle we had with the warden about wearing shorts to the mess during meals. Remember how we made a petition and stuff, and how he had summoned darren and some others to his office to talk on this issue.
About jupi bashing, when he was in the 92 batch L-lobby we lal, yogi, bhargav, maybe nev and me went to his room and totally fucked it up. He had a bucket full of water in his room. We mixed shampoo, detergent power, perfume some polish, cream and some other stuff in it and then washed his room with it.
Speaking of washing remember how accidentally during one of the holis we threw a colored water balloon in darens room and then the 93 batch guys ended up wiping all the walls in his room. Lucky for him none of the colored water went on is clothes. Staying on with holi for some time, this was in our second year I think maybe 95 march, amit singh, yogi and lal (bastards that they were) pissed into a bucket and then went to sanjus room and knocked on it. As he opened the door then threw it on him, and he was asking for more. Before they had done this they were trying to fill it into a pitchkari and yogi accidentally got a few drops on singh and singh chased him around the whole hostel and finally yogi surrendered and got the royal singh bashing.
Staying on to singh remember in 95 singhs last bday with us, when all of us (92, 93 and 94 batch ) went to give singh his bday bumps and he wouldn’t open the door. How we kept pounding it and flashing light into his room with a torch thru his window. And finally his door opened and I was with a slipper in my hand moving forward to pound his door. Then he asked the famous question who all want to give me bumps and I moved forward expecting all of your to follow and needless to say you’ll backed out and I had to do the fasted 100 meter dash of my life with singh close behind me, and you’ll bastards were cheering from behind. Had singh caught me that night I wouldn’t be alive to tell this story.
Alok - Kapoor the first NRI to have a steady girlfriend - Anuradha. and then the Chandras (Arun and gang) had some problem with it and came and dhamkaod him and I guess scared the shit out of him. Kapoor used to go to everyone and ask their opinion on this matter.
Alok - Third semester onward Anu started to move with Nev.
Alok - Ibha and Nitin, everyone was wondering who was having a better time pass.
Alok - Then after seeing the girl Reshma’ roll no.9 Lall said ‘we are made for each other’ and then literally had to eat his words when he heard her voice for the first time when she said ‘yes’ while answering to her roll call in the class. she has a very husky voice.
Alok - And how can we ever forget the crush yogi had on DK ( divya kohli ) later renamed as “YDK”(yogis DK). and Mukri bastard had asked Yogi to go and find her vital stats, later on it ended up in just finding out her shoe size, and when finally Yogi caught up with her in front of the UBI bank (pigeon hole id prefer to call it thou) she told him “why dont you guess?” and walked off, snob that she was, left Yogi panting (dog that he was). I know all this because I was there at the bank with him, I only pushed him into her.
Alok - The first time Lall, Bhargav and Yogi (maybe nev too was with them) had booz in town and came back and somehow the 92 batch found out about it and then you’ll took their trip for it. they were shit scared about it.
Alok - Steve son of bitch was so scared during the raging period that I heard he used to sleep under his bed.
Alok - Remember the time when we were made superman and made to run around in the lobby and all. Well the 92 batch guys had got info that somebody had complained against them and all of us were made to pile up in I think Jupis or Sams room, and the whole night we I think 13/15/17 don’t remember the no had to spend in the room. That was double torture, first Jupis room the stinking shit hole and then all of us cramped up finding any odd cornor. we would be called in batches to do some stupid things by the 92 batch guys. some made to go to kashmir, some made superman, some made to strip, stuff like that. the 92 batch was very inexperienced and raw in ragging.
Alok - This could be mentioned, during ankur, Yogi was after dk hell bent on trying to propose to her but usne ghass hi nahi diya, and darren was after ritika.
Alok - I also remember one of the jams in which Darren participated (this was when you 92 batch guys were in your third year and the compitition was bitotsa). the topic of the jam was ‘BLOW JOBS IN A GLASS FACTORY’. ritika too was participating and at that time one of the contestants. that guy from that team “WIN” forgot his name (Subhranshu I think) was also there Darren cut him once and got his turn after a long time and didnt know what to say and as he had to start immediately this sentence came out of his mouth’GIRLS GIVE THE BEST BLOW JOBS IN A GLASS FACTORY’ and everyone was objecting to it ‘OBSCENE’ and the whole audience was rolling with laughter, needless to say Darren was damn embarrassed.
Alok - Ok this was with Jupi (our favorite target for entertainment) when he had shifted to our side, one night Lall, me and some others were boozing. suddenly Lall challenges me to piss on Jupis door. we were standing outside his door and he could hear every word. I tell Lall that I am not that drunk, first you do and then I’ll do it too. so Lall pull his dong out and pisses on Jupis door. after that he looks at me and tells me its your turn now. so I followed and when i was just half way thru Jupi opens the door so I piss some in his room too. he was sooooo stunned that he couldn’t say anything. the fucker Lall ran away , I turned and banged on Joycees room and got into it and locked it from inside. Jupi kept banging from outside telling Joycee to bring me out. Ioycee told him that I wasn’t in the room and both of us were laughing our asses off in the room. needless to say he didn’t complain and so no black dots.
Alok - Then there is the story of my black dots. yes Yogi and I, both of us got 2 for no fault of ours. some 92 batch chute got drunk and created a fracas at BIT mod with a bus conductor and some village people. Yogi was so drunk that he kept sitting in the car, I pushed the car off the road, and that bastard went and broke one of the glasses of the bus, I pushed him into the car and we drove off finally after beating the conductor and breaking one or two glasses of the bus. all for what, because the bus had overtaken us. the ego of the son of a bitch. how can a bus overtake a maruti, and the one person who instigated the fight (all you 92 batch guys will be knowing him) dashyant kayla, Yogis close pal.
Alok - And our b’day bumps for Jupi, those were really naked ones. we would strip him and the bastard would strip willingly, and then we would kick his ass. that was the first time i had kicked bare but with my foot. Never felt anything softer on my feet before. and after his bumps jaat would have his turn. but at everybodys b’day jupi would always get bumps.
Alok - This is the best jupi incident. this happened on the first day when we all meet jupi. this was after 7:00 pm so the electricity had gone. jupi comes and sits on the pillar where nev and i were sitting. after talking some he suddenly gets this weird idea that we all should compare whose balls are bigger, and nev chadhaos him, and whoops he pulls the side of his undies aside and pulls his scrotum (i hope that is what you call the ball bag) to every bodies disgust. and from then on we knew that this guy was especial, and boy were we right.
Alok - and how we used to tease singh with ibha and then get pulverized by him. the especial bashing he would give to yogi, bhargave, lall and me, he would club both his hands together and wham. boy. then the nerd singh used to hate smoking in the first sem. went to delhi for the first break and lall and all challenge him to smoke and he takes a puff of the mentholated cigarette, and gets hooked on to it. imagine the shock i got when i saw him smoking in the second sem, and i thought that he was the one person who would survive the four years with me without touching fags.
Sardar - the first NRI black dot!!. It was the first week of school - the first week of ragging. Sardar stole a light bulb - a f***g light bulb from the physics lab and the teacher - forgot what his name was - tall bald fuck - HOD of physics - gave him a black dot….actually two I think. With that Sardar became the first NRI, first murga ever to get a black dot.
Also in Sardars resume includes getting drunk and crashing his motorcycle, therby getting himself, aeri, and golu suspended for a semester (that sentence was later reduced ) as well as other incidents including ones that till now are still a secret.
Bata, Takkur, Hanuman ji, Bhola the crook, and all the singh jis!!
Aaish yar - what is the fun!!!